Prom Spot - Q&A: Prom Dates: Talking to a Friend About Sex?

Q. My best friend's date is making it clear he wants to go all the way on prom night. I know she's never had sex before. What advice should I give her?

A. This is a tough one. Dishing advice to pals is always a little tricky -- especially when it's about sex. Your first step is to find out where she stands. Does she plan to wait? Or does she think she's ready to have sex? If it's the first option, you'll want to support her decision.

Ask your friend how she plans to handle the situation. If she's at a loss, suggest that she set limits by nixing the hotel room and hanging with friends on the big night. You should also explain that alcohol lowers inhibitions, and urge her to avoid drinking in order to keep a clear head.

Try not to lecture her, but do encourage her to consider her decision carefully. Make sure she knows you're telling her all this because you care, not because you're on some power trip. Plus, whether she thinks this guy's "the one" or not, there's a lot of serious stuff to think about first.

If she does decide to go through with it, make sure she has all the facts about HIV/AIDS, STIs (sexually transmitted infections), and pregnancy. "Bringing up the difficult consequences in today's world can really help," explains Dr. David Landers, psychologist and director of the Student Resource Center at Saint Michael's College. "You can ask your friend how she would feel if she got pregnant and how that would impact the rest of her life. The key is to get her talking and to make sure to provide accurate, up-to-date information so she knows what she's getting into."